Let’s talk about the common mistakes we all did or do when trying to achieve mindfulness.
There are many techniques and exercises to achieve mindfulness such as…
… the mindful walking, the five senses exercise, the raisin exercise, the self-compassion pause, etc.
But the most known method is through meditation, mindfulness meditation…
… and I can see why. Through meditation, you focus on a thing or thought, and you exercise awareness.
Through mindfulness meditation, you exercise awareness of your thoughts and you focus on the present moment.
Now, before we venture ahead, I need to point something out.
I’m writing this for a person who’s just starting out on this self-discovery and self-development journey…
… and that’s why mindfulness and meditation can be often misunderstood…
… thus, getting abandoned for not delivering the expectations that one might set the bar too high.
That is why I start the list below with something I faced too in the beginning, which is…
Missing a clear understanding of what mindfulness is
Mindfulness is not all about being in that Zen positive state all the time…
… it’s about being present in the moment, it’s about CHOOSING to pay attention to the present.
Let’s be honest, we’re not all living a monk life (even though I crave the isolation sometimes).
We’re living in a society where slipping into a negative state is almost inevitable…
… but it’s up to us how and if we choose to move forward.
Mindfulness is about noticing when your mind wanders, be it positive or negative thoughts…
… then accept it, because that’s part of who you (we) are…
… and finally choosing to let go with no judgments and get back on focusing on the present time.
Not having a routine put in place
Consistency is key here.
Establishing a habit will help reduce the time spent procrastinating and you will soon begin to associate that time with mindfulness meditation.
Therefore you should be very clear with how much time you’re going to dedicate to mindfulness and when you’re going to do it, each day.
And if these two don’t get you motivated enough; think of all the times you were in pain due to lack of mindfulness.
Cement your WHY you want to be mindful
You get emotionally involved in too many conversations such as blunt/rude remarks or getting caught up in stupid arguments.
Grab your pride by the neck and throw it in front of you and take a moment and look at each other…
… Your status in this world is not determined by who has the finishing sentence in any conversation you might engage.
How much time you’re going to spend on it
Have a clear goal in mind.
Will you go for 3, 5, 10, 15, 20, 30, or 60 minutes?
If you’re just starting, begin with a 3 to 10 minutes mindfulness meditation practice.
Be reasonable and be honest with yourself.
Choose a specific time and place and show up
Pick a time frame during the day and make sure that period will have fewer chances to be forgotten or interrupted.
Also, try not to engage in mindfulness or any meditation practice while you’re too anxious or angry…
… Your mind will wander at 1 million thoughts per second; thus you’ll only get angrier and more frustrated.
That’s why the most common time frames for mindfulness meditation are early in the morning and/or right before going to bed.
I for one struggled to do the meditation practice on the weekends and holidays.
I think I had this problem because I associated the meditation routine with my work routine.
Getting up in the morning, do my mindfulness meditation, shower, then go to work…
… If I’m not getting up in the morning for work, well… my mindfulness meditation got on hold or it never happened.
To overcome this, I find a couple of minutes in the day and just stare outside… I call this mindfulness hack.
I don’t even need to be sitting outside, just simply look through a window. But if I can open that window, I’ll do it.
Don’t analyze, don’t judge people’s behavior, just look at the light and color show which takes place outside…
… feel the air filling your lungs while you take deep breaths.
You have a lot to learn about yourself, but first, you need to develop that habit of practicing meditation.
Just go ahead and do it.
A good meditation is one you did; the only bad meditation is one you didn’t do.
— Stephanie Nash
Leaning too much on the guided meditation
I have nothing against it.
In fact, I encourage it if you’re at the beginning of this journey and you feel helpless.
I used it too.
But at some point, you will need to do it on your own.
Don’t forget the reason that you use guided meditation to help you and ease you into practice so that you can do it with no assistance.
Mindfulness is you noticing you and taking proper choices on your own.
Associate it with relaxation
If you’re seeking relaxation in doing mindfulness or any meditation, you’re getting it all wrong.
With relaxation is how you prime yourself for meditation practice…
… meaning that you need to be relaxed first before trying to practice any type of meditation.
At first, meditation will be an experience of all types of feelings and thoughts quite opposite of a relaxed state…
… such as discomfort and restlessness.
That is expected and to be honest, it’s normal.
It might take days or even weeks until you’ll get comfortable practicing mindfulness meditation.
I don’t like to call it a side effect but…
… the relaxation that, in time, will come with it is just a bonus.
Keep at it. Be consistent and you’ll succeed.
Don’t rush it because you’ll fall into another common mistake people do when trying mindfulness meditation, and that is…
Expecting quick results
Did you just start practicing mindfulness meditation and don’t see any results yet?
But you’re puzzled because there’s a whole bunch of people that have experienced the benefits of meditation.
Well… mindfulness meditation is not a pill that you take and in the next minutes, you feel enlightened.
If you share this preconception shake it off because it will only cause disappointment and frustration.
Mindfulness will be developed naturally in time if practiced regularly.
The benefits are side-effects or byproducts of mindfulness meditation, and these shouldn’t be its ultimate aim.
This is a spiritual practice and if you’re feeling attracted to it, embrace it…
… You are now on a spiritual journey of self-discovery.
Be patient and stay consistent with your mindfulness practice.
If not, you’ll bump into another common mistake…
Inconsistency – not showing up for your new daily routine
Establishing new habits on top of old well-cemented ones it’s hard work and it requires determination…
… but the good news is that it can be done.
For now, mindfulness meditation will be just a habit. That’s all there is in the beginning, just a new habit.
Don’t get discouraged; you’ll first need to get comfortable doing it and showing up…
… and then you’ll be looking at it as a life standard.
Just like healthy eating, exercising, or reading, this is a long-term development plan that…
… if you stick by it, it will change the way you live and ultimately your life.
As Jim Rohn used to say…
One apple a day keeps the doctor away
You see, the key is to start doing it and keep doing it without the need for someone to congratulate you.
You’ll do it because you know it will benefit you in the long run.
If you’re feeling that you don’t have enough time throughout your day don’t use that as an excuse.
Instead, try using the “mindfulness hack” I told you about earlier.
Dedicate 3 to 5 minutes window(s) in a 24-hour day; that’s 0.00034 percent of the time from that respective day.
To sum it up this is what you need to avoid while trying to achieve mindfulness.
- Start by having a clear understanding of what mindfulness is
- Set in place a good routine by understanding:
- why do you want it
- how much time you’re going to dedicate to this new habit
- pick a time frame in your day to practice it
- Use guided meditation for a limited period of time and then practice it on your own
- Associations of mindfulness meditation with relaxation
- Do not have any expectations of fast results – this is a long-term, way of living change
- Inconsistency
I believe that everyone can achieve mindfulness through meditation.
It’s just a matter of time; the sooner you start, the better.
Thank you for reading this far,
Namaste!
Stay well, stay healthy, fly high!