In this life, it’s so simple to take things for granted.
Particularly when you’re in good health, when you have a roof covering your head,
… and something to put on your plate.
It’s commonly not up until something important gets removed from you…
… that you worry and recognize just how grateful you should’ve been,
… despite how simple it appears.
In our consumerist culture, it’s easier to be unappreciative than it is to be grateful.
And that’s because a lot of what’s habituated into our mind has to do with…
… being successful, earning more money, more power, and more things.
There are many things we desire that we do not have.
I learned the hard way that gratitude can really change your life.
When you’re at the bottom, you recognize that gratitude is…
… the sole most effective resource of inspiration and happiness.
Gratefulness is the one particular thing that can make a wonder out of your day,
… just by pausing to focus on the beauty of little things.
A substantial change can happen in your life when you…
… practice day-to-day appreciation.
If you want to know more about how gratitude can change your life, please read this article.
Your life is essentially the sum of your habits.
Before we look at how we can make gratitude into a habit…
… let’s talk a little about habits.
Every habit, or routine, that in most cases we do automatically,
… goes through four stages.
You first have the trigger (cue), then the craving or desire to respond to that trigger,
… then there is the response itself you perform in response to that cue, and…
… at the end, there is the reward where you satisfy your desire.
To sum it up, every habit goes through the following sequence:
(1) Cue (trigger) > (2) Craving (desire) > (3) Response (action) > (4) Reward.
Studies show that you need 18 to 254 days to develop a new habit,
… depending on the new habit you want to form.
On average a new habit can be developed in 66 days.
The greater the reward, the harder it is to break that habit.
Ok, let’s see how we can turn gratitude into a lasting habit.
Simple techniques to turn gratitude into a lasting habit
Think of gratitude as a skill.
Here are some simple techniques or rituals to transform gratitude into a habit.
Really say thank you
To a person
Make an objective for the whole day to locate several chances…
… to stop briefly and share real thanks to the individual you’re engaging with,
… whether it’s somebody you know or somebody you don’t know.
Take a minute, stop, look them in the eye and…
… with a real smile say Thank You!
If there is a certain detail you want to thank them for…
… be sure to go all the way and do it.
If this might look too easy to be valid, simply try it.
When you start doing this you will begin to realize just how…
… lifeless, rushed and without meaning your thanks were.
Also, I’m pretty sure you’ll become addicted to this because…
… it’s impossible to not love the way the person will lighten up and…
… how valued he or she will feel when you truly show your appreciation.
For yourself
Say thank you when you go to bed and…
… in a journal, fully detail the things you’re grateful for.
Make sure to note down every specific piece of information…
… whether it was cool weather, your child’s success or…
… a simple smile from a complete stranger.
If you choose to do this the last thing before going to bed…
… you’ll prime yourself with happy thoughts, thus placing your mind into a tranquil,
… positive and grateful state of delight before you close your eyes and fall asleep.
Or, as you wake up, say thank you.
Be thankful for a new day of life as you rise each morning.
This habit can be paired beautifully with a gratitude meditation.
Doing something, anything for someone else
… with no expectancy of getting something in return.
Did you notice how you’re feeling after helping someone, regardless of how small the gesture might seem?
Not only will it lighten up your mood to bring that other person delight, but…
… you will probably feel grateful for your skills, time, or what else you can offer.
Often all it takes is holding the door open for someone, let somebody pass in traffic,
… helping a neighbor or writing an email to an old friend.
Do not undervalue just how much straightforward kindness can do…
… for both the helped person and for your gratitude practice.
So, why not incorporate this into your character by making it a habit?
Count your miracles
Even on the worst days, good things happen but…
… we do likely not notice them because we’re too preoccupied with the negative things.
To counteract this, you could try experimenting with the…
Three good things method.
This technique requires five to ten minutes of your time to…
… write in full detail about 3 things that positively impacted you on that particular day,
and try to explain WHY you believe they took place.
Try finding the right time for you to practice this technique.
You could do it retroactively first thing in the morning or…
… you might want to do it actively at the end of each day.
Be flexible, the idea is to do it every day for as long as you need, but not less than 10 days.
Why is this method effective?
Because it, not just aids you remember and cherish good things that occurred in your life…
… it can likewise instruct you to recognize and enjoy positive events as they take place.
It can also help you remember these positive things a lot more clearly later.
The idea behind this concept is that…
… you will start to see a wider environment of good around you…
… as opposed to thinking that the universe is working against you.
TIP: This could also work effectively in your mindfulness journey because it helps you be more present.
Gratitude journal
This method is similar to the one described above and involves…
… writing down once a week 1 to 5 things for which you are grateful.
If you’re more of a journaling person…
… you could write in detail about one thing you’re thankful for every day.
For this method, you can broaden the extent of your appreciation…
… past great things that took place the respective day and think about…
… positive events from your past and also those showing up in the future.
Gratitude jars
Why not unleash the creative side of you while practicing gratitude?
Keep a glass jar or any transparent recipient right next to you along with…
… some small paper notes or sticky notes and…
… every day make sure to fill it with one thing you’re grateful for.
It’s a powerful method because having the jar next to you…
… it serves as a reminder of all the good things you appreciate.
Be sure you don’t spend too much time decorating the recipient…
… because you’ll end up with no clear view of what’s inside.
Use gratitude at work
The technical term for it is gratitude meeting bookends.
And is best applied to meetings where you start by…
… truly appreciate someone or share something you’re grateful for, and…
… you end the meeting the same way you started.
Although I’m aware that this might not ‘work’ for some…
… I still believe it’s a powerful method.
One, because it will make you feel better, happier.
Two, it will boost your team’s productivity and give an overall positive kick.
Three, it takes less than a minute to apply.
Mental subtraction
Or virtual deprivation, as I like to call it.
You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone!
Tough reality, I know, but…
… that doesn’t mean you really have to lose something or, god forbid, someone.
A good method to do this is to start practicing the mental subtraction of positive events.
This technique consists of thinking about the numerous means in which…
… essential, positive events in your life such as a job opportunity, or…
… meeting your soul mate, or a professional achievement…
… might have never occurred, and afterward assessing…
… what your life would be like without those positive events.
Mental subtraction can neutralize the predisposition to take…
… positive events for granted and it assists you to acknowledge just how…
… privileged you are that things laid down the way they did.
Reference:
Koo M., Algoe S. B., Wilson T. D. & Gilbert D. T. (2008).
It’s a wonderful life: Mentally subtracting positive events improves people’s affective states,
contrary to their affective forecasts.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 1217-1224.
Use gratitude as an antidote
When something or someone worries you out such as an irritating coworker,
… or you’re stuck in traffic, utilize it as a reminder to express appreciation.
Not for the stressful factor, but use that thing that stresses you out to…
… motivate you to halt, breathe, and think about one thing, regardless of how small,
… that you’re grateful for at that moment.
By doing this you stop your brain from spiraling into negativeness,
… where one frustrating thought could pile onto another…
… till you have a harsh day.
Match self-critique with self-appreciation
Similar to the above method you could use this technique to…
… counter any negative thoughts about yourself.
Each time you condemn yourself by any means…
… match it with a declaration of gratitude.
For instance, if you criticize a defect of you, be it psychological or physical,
… think about one thing you value about yourself.
This technique utilizes the habit a lot of us share of self-criticism and…
… requires to balance it every time with an exercise of self-gratitude.
Sounds cheesy, I know.
But try to see past that and acknowledge the true power of it.
Also, I’m not here to serve you the BS of being all positive…
Having negative, criticizing thoughts is normal,
… it’s part of being human, capable of expressing and feeling emotions.
So, accept those negative thoughts and use them as a reminder…
… that life is not worth living on the dark side.
Cool tip!
You could allow yourself a specific amount of time, let’s say 5 minutes,
… to hate and judge certain aspects of the day that might feel like a thorn against your back.
This could be helpful if you’re working in a very stressful environment.
Basically, you allow yourself to discharge all that negativity.
Find the good in people
Each day, for the first time when engaging in a dialog with…
… someone you know or somebody new, establish the intent…
… to see one thing about them you are appreciative of.
That somebody could be a colleague, a family member, or…
… that relative you go see once a year and frustrates you every time you do.
Or it could also be a complete stranger.
Perhaps it’s something they are dressing in, maybe their passion,
… their funny bone, maybe you love how they make you feel,
… their incredible ability to negotiate a good price, it could be anything.
When you start communicating by concentrating on something…
… you’re thankful for versus something you intend to slam,
… not only you’ll feel much better, but you permit yourself and the person you’re interacting with…
… to have a much more human, unprejudiced bond.
I’m grateful for the time I had available for writing this article,
… and I genuinely appreciate that you took the time to read it till the end.
Stay well, stay healthy, fly high.
Namaste!