My grandma used to say:
You can eat a bag full of salt with someone, but at the end of the day you won’t be able to fully know that person.
So, you see, it doesn’t matter how long you know someone…
At some point in time, he or she will break that trust.
They may leave you, they may pass, or they may disappoint you.
That’s why is very important to realize that…
… you could ALWAYS trust numero uno, yourself!
Having a healthy relationship with you,
… will prepare you for the worst things life can throw at you.
Trusting yourself can and will construct your self-confidence,
… in time, will turn it less complicated for you to make choices and,
… ultimately lower your stress levels.
So, here are some powerful ways to develop faith in yourself.
Accept your current situation
If you don’t dare to look back and say that…
… you got into this mess all by yourself, then it’s going to be pointless.
Have the courage to admit all your limiting beliefs.
You have to develop that self-awareness and thus,
… be able to attack any that’s holding you back.
Put that anger aside and make peace with how your life looks now.
Accept all the actions you took that got you here.
Then you can move on and build the path to your greatness.
First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn’t so great.
Alyssa Milano
Practice
Regardless of what you choose from these powerful ways to develop faith in yourself,
… please be aware that without practice, you’ll go nowhere.
I remember the first time when I put myself in front of the camera…
… to record a video for YouTube… Oh boy!
I was extremely nervous, I did a lot of mistakes and had to record…
… again and again, and again.
I quickly realized that you don’t need a script and most certainly,
… you don’t need to spend 2 hours in front of the mirror.
Accept who you are and JUST BE YOURSELF.
Do it day in and day out, every single day.
Maybe you’ll want to learn a new skill, public speaking, how to eat healthily,
… how to lose belly fat, how to be a better friend, etc…
Understand what you want, and if you want to get it you have to put in the work.
That means practicing daily.
The more you practice, the more you’ll know that you too can do it!
Cut yourself some slack
Forgive yourself for any past failures or mistakes.
Realize that in order to move forward, you have to let the anchor go.
Focus on what you are and what you have NOW.
Will you continue to live in regret, work the same shitty job, drive the same junk car, procrastinate?
Will you STOP living the life you have and START living the life you’re after?
Accept that you’re in the current situation… well, because of you.
Forgive yourself and then let it all go.
Find what you’re after and come up with a realistic plan to get it.
Take small consistent steps towards that goal, and soon you’ll see that self-confidence sprout.
Challenge your inner critic
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
A big portion of the most challenging remarks that we get,
originated from within ourselves, through that voice of our inner critic.
If you battle with low self-esteem, having an overactive inner critic…
… could be one of the reasons.
When you overcriticize yourself, you tend to get angry,
… and anger can only narrow your judgment.
That’s why, when you slip into this spiral of self-judgment,
… there’s also a high probability that it can be inaccurate.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can aid you to question or challenge…
… your inner critic by forcing you to look for hard evidence to…
… everything that judgmental voice is telling you.
If you’re reading this, I’m 100% sure that you can find at least two aspects…
… from your life that you’re proud of and grateful for.
It doesn’t matter how big or small your success are,
… make sure to congratulate and reward yourself from time to time.
Fear is an illusion
Oh well, and how can I make it disappear then?
That’s a great question, but I’m afraid there’s no easy answer to it.
Unless you confront your fears, you’ll not be able to overcome them.
The longer you wait, the harder it gets.
Do whatever it’s necessary to break out of the bubble and do it now.
That is how you learn new things, and that’s also how you’ll boost your self-esteem.
Go for long walks in the woods or go for a swim in cold water.
Get in the car, bus, train, whatever…
And just do the thing you plan on doing for such a long time now.
Do one of the things that scare you every day.
Visualization
Yes! And this time, I’m not talking about chakras healing,
… even though some of those might need some help.
Whenever you have or need to do something uncomfortable,
… picture it in your mind.
Whether it’s confronting a colleague, getting on camera, or public speaking,
… try to visualize it. If you’re comfortable with roleplaying,
… you can have that conversation with somebody; preferably someone close.
Try to see how you’re going to stand, how you’re going to speak,
… will you move your hands a lot, how are you going to respond to certain questions, etc…
It’s not always going to be how you envisioned it, but…
… just by practicing in your mind (or with someone close), you’ll…
… trick your brain that you’ve done it already one hundred times.
That will give you an extra boost of self-confidence,
… even though you’re doing it (live) for the first time.
Oversaturate with rejection
A good friend of mine told me that if I want to clear all that rust that…
… built upon my courage, self-esteem, and ultimately on my self-confidence…
… I should interact with people in such a way that all will reject me.
He also gave me an example, which at the time, I thought of as being very silly.
You know those acupuncture drawings showing various pressure points and such.
He told me that I should draw something similar for a footprint on a piece of paper…
… and then go ask random people on the street if they want a foot massage for 100 bucks.
Recently, while diving deep into self-help material,
… I discovered that rejection is actually therapy. (Dooh)
I am talking about Jia Jiang and his brave 100 days of rejection challenge.
Can you imagine the levels of self-confidence you’ll build by…
… walking up to random people and making crazy requests, just to get rejected?
And not only that.
It will also teach you how to interact with different personalities,
… most of them outraged by your request.
This method right here sits at the top of your…
… powerful ways to develop faith in yourself list.
Develop trust in you
In order to do that you have to show up. For you this time.
Say, you started to work out, or practicing meditation, or learn a new skill.
Be there, every single day, and do it.
Life has its own way to throw things at you that miraculously fit perfectly into…
… a million excuses to skip the “thing” that you’ve just started.
Take it as a test. Nothing less, nothing more.
Are you willing to do the work to get what you want?
Then, what are you waiting for? Go out there and be brave.
That’s how you’ll be starting to trust yourself again,
… and in time you’ll start to respect yourself more.
And with that, my friend, you’ll develop faith in yourself.
Also, to emphasize this even more I need to tell you about…
… Brené Brown’s “Rising Strong” book.
She talks about 7 key elements that cement the foundation of self-trust.
Have you heard of B.R.A.V.I.N.G.?
When reading all these seven below,
… if any question related to them may arise… be honest with yourself.
That’s how you can begin to trust yourself.
- Boundaries – you set up boundaries, you respect those and you’re able to say no.
- Reliability – you keep your word, you show up. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.
- Accountability – you own your shit. Yes, I said it. When you make a mistake, you take full responsibility and then change your behavior.
- Vault – you can keep a secret. Otherwise, you don’t share information that you don’t own.
- Integrity – you talk the talk AND you also walk the walk. In other words, practice what you preach.
- Nonjudgement – you’re capable of having a conversation about what you need, and you can ask for what they need. You can discuss all these feelings without being judgmental.
- Generosity – did you consider that you can have a generous interpretation of the actions and words of other people?
Stay positive. Be grateful
Simple words that by now all sound cliché, but…
… you must understand that being grateful is the foundation of an overall positive state.
Being grateful helps your relationships, improves your psychological well-being.
It boosts your self-esteem; it gives you perspective.
Staying positive doesn’t necessarily mean that whenever you feel down…
… you think of butterflies and unicorns, and all that negativity will wither…
… in the light of that bright, eye-candy rainbow you’ve just thought of.
Being positive means that YOU CHOOSE to also do something positive for you.
You can work out, go for a walking meditation, or help another.
That is how you’ll be able to shift from negative to positive.
Also, that’s how you’ll raise your vibration.
Offer to help someone
Did you help a person cross the street, or to carry his/her bag,
… or to find a specific product on the shelf in a grocery store,
… or find the light when everything seems to get absorbed by the darkness of depression?
How did you feel?
That feeling my friend is what gives you confidence that you can do better in this world.
By doing that you’ll focus your attention on the other person and…
… with that discover that you should be more grateful for what you have and what you can do.
Being helpful, humble, and grateful can open doors…
… that you never thought existed before.
Therefore, you should start by accepting who you are now,
… then decide what you’re going to do about it,
… and then visualize and start practicing that every day.
In this journey you’ll need to be gentle with yourself, and…
… whenever that inner voice is criticizing you dare to challenge it.
If you fear rejection or failure, take a big dive into it;
… that’s how you’ll slowly, but steadily build trust in yourself.
Last, but not least remember to stay positive and appreciate everything you have.
C’mon, find that willingness juice inside you and start shining.
You deserve better.
Stay well, stay healthy, fly high.
Namaste!